Survive today - poem by Matt Williams

Survival

He sits up in bed from what little sleep he's had

Because he is stiff and his backs aching bad

His everyday pain is still there and kicking

He has to get up, and he has to start living

He struggles and tosses to roll out of bed 

As soon as he up the pain has spread

He catches his breath and stands up tall

I can do this, he says, god won't let me fall

The kids are waiting in the other room

He puts on a grin and hides his gloom

The more he moves

the burning sets in

But when in front of the family 

he grits it and grins

Everyday is a battle with emotions and pain

Can you imagine every day if it rained?

The rain may slow down but it doesn't stop

At least you can see rain, because my pain you cannot

Exhausted and hurting, A single tear falls

No one even cares that I just hit the wall

The pain is extreme

He smiles at his family, while inside he screams

Does anyone see his pain and despair?

No, they don't believe that it's really there.

So he drives and does more things than he should

The pain, anxiety and depression only compounds his feelings of being no good.

He gives his family all that he has

It's never enough, he's such a drag 

All the things that WE we want to do

We can't do because of you

You tell them to go and to please have fun

Don't worry bout me, my body is done

So they leave you behind

At home all alone

It only takes minutes before the tears start to flow

the pain is still there, it won't let me go.

Now the tears flow non-stop because of the pain

Alone and aching nonstop like the rain

He will fight and survive with all that he is

A human, a person, someone with feelings.

To be not loved is worse than the pain

Forever he'll fight, even for a small gain

He will fight for his family till the day of his death

With all that he his till he draws his last breath 

You threw me out like an old pair of shoes, but 

I am a child of god and I will always love you.  

MW